Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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