Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize