I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
