Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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