i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
