9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize