I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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