do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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