Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize