went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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