I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
