Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize