I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
