Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize