420 ftw
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
