ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
