I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
