hotel room ftw
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
