Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
