in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
