No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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