So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
