just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
