i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
