Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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