If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
