Sponge bath it is.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
