I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
