thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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