I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
