He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
