how can u be prego again
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
