I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
