Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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