you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
