On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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