New invention idea: vibrating tampons
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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