Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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