I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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