Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
