So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I AM VODKA MAN
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
