Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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