He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
