So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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