it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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