That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
