Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
