hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
