You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
