did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I need to align my fucking chakras
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
