Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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