At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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