Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
