I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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