yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
