Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
