Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
