Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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