Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
