Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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