yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
