Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
