You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
