make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
