I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize
