You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
