so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Mom said you looked used
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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