I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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